TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

Greetings AWI Family,

I am absorbing and projecting the lesson: "take responsibility". I know that words project substance that create our experiences, whether we are conscious of that substance or not. So I must be conscious of the substance of the lesson I am projecting. I must have substantial knowledge of responsibility, otherwise I won't recognize the lesson when I absorb it, and I will keep repeating it.

What is responsibility? Here is my definition:

RESPONSIBLE: performing functionally according to absolute purpose; recognizing when something is needed and what is needed and following the steps to acquire and apply what is needed so that the condition of need no longer exists.

Before matriculating to AWI, my definition was what I accepted from the dictionary:
expected or obliged to account; answerable, accountable; involving obligation or duties; able to distinguish between right and wrong and to think and to act rationally; dependable and reliable.

I was raised to accept the Christian concepts of right and wrong, and experience of my accepted definition of right and wrong (rewards and opportunities for acting "right"; punishment and suffering for acting "wrong") caused me to act "right". You know, the Ten Commandments - don't lie, cheat, steal, covet thy neighbors wife - those are the "biggies". Don't hurt people or animals, and help people when you can (when it is convenient). So in this sense, I felt I was acting responsibly.

However, like most people, I found that accepting obligation or duties was not fun. Obligation and duties require work. Who wants to work? Especially melaninated beings in the west - after the slavery experience of being worked from sun up to sun down without pay and still living in a system where most of us work for the mankind beast to pay rent and put food on the table - who really wants to be responsible? Many people are forced to be responsible, but who really wants to be responsible?

In childhood, sometimes I was told to wash dishes, especially after they had been sitting in the sink for awhile and the water in the sink was nasty. I didn't have fun washing dishes, and if I left a piece of food on a plate, or there was a Kool-aid stain still in a cup, I would get yelled at. It was my responsibility to take out the stinking garbage, too! It smelled bad and it was heavy, and during the winter, I had to go out in the cold. I always got yelled at to take out the garbage! On Saturday mornings, I was forced to do chores before going outside to play - vacuum, clean my room, wash clothes, clean bird cage, clean dog shit in utility room, etc. At other times, my parents or teachers would say, "Who did this?" when something was broken. Whoever was "responsible" for breaking the object or doing something that upset the grown-ups would get punished. I was never nurtured to learn how to fix what was broken, either. So from childhood I learned that being responsible obligated you to do work that nobody else wanted to do, was no fun, was stinky and nasty, and would get you in trouble and yelled at if you made a mistake. So like most people, when it came to this kind of responsibility, I avoided it whenever possible. (While picking up trash on the sidewalk and sweeping hallways today, I considered most of the urban areas where I have lived with "my people" - garbage in the streets, stinky, nasty homes that are falling apart and need to be fixed, no parks or places for children to have fun, nobody wanting to take responsibility. . . .)

So when I entered adulthood, I was projecting Christian moral responsibility and avoiding obligation/duty/work responsiblity - and I was drawn to the Rastafari Movement. "The mankind beast system is falling and is going to be replaced by a new system, so get out of it before it is completely burned by fire, no need to work in it or learn it, and we are going to leave the west and return to Mama Africa as prophets, priests and kings (and not industrial engineers and manufacturers) anyway, so what's the point of doing anything here only to leave it to be destroyed? I'll be responsible for learning and building after I repatriate. My only responsibility was leaving the west", so I thought. Anyway, that's another story . . . . .

Now, however, the ancestors are showing me, I must TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AND SUBMIT TO MY ABSOLUTE PURPOSE IN ORDER TO ACTIVATE THE HEART OF MY ANCESTRAL CHAMPIONS INSIDE ME!

Take responsibility for what? What is responsibility? Here's an absolute example:

No one teaches a baby after it leaves the womb how to cry out for its mother's breast and suck . . . . The ancestral knowledge in the baby's genetic memory was activated by the baby's senses . . . . which communicated internally with Self, "I need". This need became the baby's will/purpose which, just as it was communicated internally, had to be communicated externally. So the ancestral knowledge, when activated, caused an internal movement of the will which in turn caused the baby to use its muscles (internal) to move - in this case, its vocal cords. This internal movement created a word- sound that caused an external movement, which was a vibration that carried the substance of the ancestral knowledge in the baby's genetic memory. The vibration was heard by Mama and absorbed, activating the same ancestral knowledge inside of her that she passed to her baby in the womb, which in turn caused an internal movement of the will that further caused Mama to use her muscles (internal) to move - in this case, her leg muscles. Mama's internal movement created an external movement, which brought her to nurse the baby.

So automatically, baby and mother communicated the substance of the ancestral knowledge of what they need to do (to grow), and that knowledge was substantiated when the baby felt the nipple, sucked it, and tasted milk. The baby was being responsible when it projected, in the form of crying, the ancestal knowledge that was activated internally when the baby's senses absorbed where it was. Likewise, Mama was responsible when, after she heard her baby crying and absorbed the substance of the ancestral knowledge that was projected and was now activated internally, submitted and nursed the baby. Both automatically knew their purpose and what to do.

Unlike a baby, however, an adult has this thing called "freewill". An adult has accepted and stored concepts that are not absolute and override the anestral knowledge that is communicated within.

For example, Self senses/observes smoking cigarettes. Self smells the cigarette (it smells bad), Self mimics smoking and inhales/absorbs cigarette, and Self starts coughing (ancestral knowledge projection: get this shit out of Self)! Self learned not to inhale cigarette smoke. However, Self accepted a concept that smoking is "cool", smoking is "fun". Smoking gets you accepted (peer pressure). So Self uses freewill to override Self's absolute learning/purpose and makes smoking into a habit. Then one day, all the smoke Self absorbed is projected as lung cancer. Just as the ancestral knowledge said, "get this smoke out of me", now the ancestral knowledge is saying, "get this smoke that is now in the form of a tumor our of me!" Just as Self submitted to freewill to override absolute learning/purpose when it first inhaled, Self might submit to freewill and keep smoking even after getting lung cancer, too!

Was Self responsible? No. Why? Because Self did not submit and perform the ancestral knowledge that was projected.

So what is responsibility? At AWI, I learned that every word is a "capacitor" with a substance and form. For example, look at the word "chair". The form of a chair is : four legs, a seat, a back, arm rests, etc. The substance of a chair is its purpose/function - what it is used for: sitting, resting, reclining, standing, supporting, etc. So now, to know what responsibility is, I need to know its substance and form. From the baby/Mama example above:

Responsibility:
substance: knowing, doing (performing)
form: baby, mama (objects), ancestral knowledge, actions (concepts)

Perfoming:
substance: following
form: object, steps (concepts)

So responsibility is using the senses to absorb substance and activate ancestral knowledge within Self's genetic memory which projects a response. This is how I learm/know what needs to be done . When Self applies that knowledge by moving/performing/following the step(s) of what to do, then Self is acting responsibly.

There's a little more to this lesson, however. There are times when my freewill wants to submit to the ancestral knowledge that is projected, and yet I still don't. For example, I might see/absorb that power keeps going out in my house, and ancestral knowledge projects that I need to fix it. My freewill wants to get it fixed, too. However, I don't get it fixed. Why? What stops me?

I know it needs to be fixed, but I don't know how to fix it. Moreover, I have accepted the concept that electricity is "dangerous". I remember being shocked. I also remember stories and movies of people being electrocuted. So now, the thought of looking at and observing the electrical system in my house causes me "fear" of being shocked or electricuted. Or, maybe I am not afraid of being electricuted, but I am afraid of failing to do it "right" and burning down my house. In either case, fear has stopped me from fixing it. (Fear of failure is major reason why I avoid responsibility.)

Let's say, however, that I do know how to fix it, but with working two jobs, I just don't feel like using my weekends to work on fixing my electrical system. Afterall, all work and know rest/relaxation, is not healthy, either. Moreover, the children have their weekend activities that require my attention; the wife wants some attention, too. In this case, entropy and energy are the culprits stopping me. There are just too many things that demand my attention and I don't have the energy to do them all.

So why not just hire an electrician? That is a solution if I can afford it. If the job is going to cost $8,000 and I don't have it, then that means having to work a lot of over-time. Again, entropy and energy are the culprits stopping me.

So now the question is, take responsibility for what? Answer: Self

When I Orientate, I see and understand the Oneness. There is only Self. And Self's purpose is infinite involution - to grow. I am infinitely absorbing and projecting, so the substance of what I am projecting is what I am absorbing through my senses and it is based on my perception of self. If I see garbage in the street around me, it is because I am projecting garbage. If my perception of self is Duality, then it is someone else's responsibility to pick it up (whoever put it there or the city, etc.) If my perception of Self is Oneness, then it is Self's responsibility. If I don't care (take responsibility), that is because I don't care (take responsibility) about myself. Since, however, I am an aboriginal being, I share in the three attributes of the absolute: responsibility, openeness, and reproducibility. I can't run from responsibility because it is in my genetic memory. If I don't care about myself and take responsibility, I am projecting lessons to teach me to take responsibility. The universe will continue to "force" me into taking responsibility by taking from me what I am not being responsible for (neglecting, not observing), until I submit to my absolute purpose. So, by making it my purpose to observe what is around me, and knowing who I am, ancestral knowledge will project to me what needs to be done. When it is done, the lesson is learned and the wisdom is gained, so I no longer project and absorb that lesson, but rather that wisdom. Self becomes "lighter". In this way, I raise my vibration and I grow.

So this is where I am at - Orientating and understanding the substance of responsibility and what prevents me from taking responsibility.

I welcome comments from my reflections so that I can learn and grow.